The arrival.

Ever since I have arrived, home has been interesting. On the drive home from the airport, my mother was telling me about how my grandfather had fell again. She was listing all of the health issues he has been going through, and it really doesn't seem good. I thought about the day he passes, and what I would really remember about him. I feel like I don't know my grandfather very well.  I don't believe he has really had a strong connection with any of his grandchildren. He was always visible during family functions, but never really present. One of those quiet grandfathers who just sits, watches television, and rambles a story about the past every now and then. I thought about what I would actually remember of him, and the only thing I could think of was terrible. I thought back to when I was much younger, back to when I was more of a troubled child. I remember crying and swearing over something at the table, and my grandfather got fed up with it. So, he took me to the backyard with a Chinese wooden back-scratcher in hand; it was for my back, but not to scratch an itch. I remember running to my mom as she came home from work. I told her what had happened. To my surprise, she had nothing to say about it. It seemed more like she didn't have the courage to confront her father about it. That day, was also my first and only recollection of feeling like my mother had betrayed me.

The whole drive home from the airport, my parents were harshly bickering with each other. It was nothing new, but I was still taken aback. I suppose it was because I haven't been around for a long time. After continuously listening to them, it made me think, "I really am home now." The rest of my night was a quiet one at my parents' house. A lot of my hometown friends are too busy during the day and can't stay out as late during the night. So, I just continued reading Pedagogy of the Oppressed until I fell asleep.

Sleeping in a different position from normal, or even a whole different location makes you much more aware while asleep. Thus, you're supposed to be able to remember your dreams much more vividly. My dream last night was quite strange. For some odd reason, I dreamed about someone I really did not expect. It was about a person who I never actually dated, but was hung up over for a long time after we stopped talking. I thought I had been over her after almost a year now. It was an interesting way to wake up to my first morning at home.

Today has been unexpectedly warm and slow. The weather isn't as cool as I hoped, but the night was nice. Knowing that it will probably be another long period before I return here, I started texting people I normally wouldn't, or haven't seen in a long time. It got me into a text conversation with one of my old friends, who used to be my best friend in high school. However, over the years, our connection faded as our life paths continued to rapidly grow apart. He is someone who I saw and talked to probably five or so times whenever I came up to visit. Regardless, I walked over to his house even though we only had 20 minutes before he had to go to work. It makes me immensely happy to know that we can just talk to each other out of nowhere and begin to catch up like we did.

It hasn't even been a full day at home yet. I feel good about it, but still in the middle ground.